The “Let Them” List

I’ve often said, “Writing is as necessary to me as breathing.” And it’s true. Writing helps me make sense of the world—and my place in it. It’s also one of my most powerful coping tools.

Recently, I read Mel Robbins’ book on The Let Them Theory, which offers a refreshing perspective on mental well-being. At its core, the theory encourages us to reframe how we think in order to improve our mental health. It’s simple, yet incredibly effective.

As a natural over-thinker, I tend to analyze everything—sometimes to the point of exhaustion. This book reminded me that I can’t control what others do, say, or think. I can only control how I respond. Do I wish I had the kind of unshakable confidence that made this kind of mindset shift unnecessary? Of course. But I wasn’t born that way, and that’s okay.

Being the firstborn and a lifelong people-pleaser, I’ve always been highly attuned to the emotional energy in a room. As an empath, I don’t just sense it—I absorb it. I even try to anticipate how others might feel or react so I can avoid or minimize conflict. And let me tell you, that kind of emotional labor is exhausting. For years, I didn’t even realize how much energy I was spending trying to manage other people’s emotions.

I’ve always been a self-help kind of person—constantly working on myself to improve my life. And honestly, Robbins’ The Let Them Theory has been a godsend. I truly believe books find us when we need them most.

Inspired by the book, I started a “Let Them” list in my journal. Whenever something upsets me—whether it’s a comment or someone’s behavior—I write it down. But I also take it a step further by adding a “Let Me” response: Let me process this differently. Let me choose peace. Let me move on. It’s a way to regain control—of myself, my emotions, and my mindset.

Writing has always been a way for me to release and reflect. I’ve written countless letters I’ll never send, simply to vent or gain perspective. Putting words to the page helps me let go of what I can’t change.

Another benefit of my “Let Them” list is that it helps me identify patterns. When I see what types of things trigger me, I gain insight into myself. And that self-awareness is the first step toward growth.

If you’re someone who feels overwhelmed by the weight of other people’s expectations or reactions, I encourage you to try the “Let Them” approach. Start small. Notice when something bothers you, write it down, and ask yourself: What can I let go of? How can I take care of myself in this moment? Whether you journal, reflect in quiet moments, or talk it out with someone you trust, give yourself the space to choose peace over control. You don’t have to carry everything. Let them... and let yourself be free.